If Franklin had won

One of our founding fathers, Ben Franklin, woke up one day (not sure if it was before or after being struck by lightning) and decided that the turkey should be our national bird.
I'm glad he lost that argument.
But as I sit here in sheer exhaustion, I wonder, what would have happened if Franklin had won the argument?

Just think, we could be giving thanks by eating Bald Eagle with family and friends.
American Outfitters T-shirts would be drastically different. I'm not so sure a turkey, super-imposed on a rebel flag with God Bless the USA emblazoned in sweet lightning bolts, would look tough or patriotic. In fact, if I were I betting man, I'd put my money on the idea that you would most certainly have a Sams Club-sized can of whoopass opened on your lily-white ass during Race Weekend.
There would be lots of Turkey flash in all of the tattoo parlors across our great land. Nothing says freedom like a jailhouse turkey tat.
Quarters would have turkeys on the back. I think this would make it much more difficult to prevent children from swallowing their church offering...and covering their lunch money in gravy.
Bikers would have sweet turkey patches on the backs of their leather jackets. That would actually be pretty badass.
A club sandwich would consist of Bacon, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and Bald Eagle.
The President would pardon a Bald Eagle every Thanksgiving.
Fancy flagpoles would have a graceful brass Turkey at the top.
Our great halls of justice, courthouses, and various government structures would be ornately decorated with birds that look like they have an empty ballsack dangling from their beaks.
Dick Cheney would shoot his close friends in the face on Bald Eagle hunting excursions.

Today, I give thanks for many things, but most importantly, that the founding father that graces the cover of our hundred dollar bill lost his bid for our national bird.

It is all about you, Benjamin, just not your taste in feathered friends.