Summer break is finally here
So show me them sweet nips...It's funny that I mention that b/c the last time I saw a pair of bubbies was on St. Patty's day at the world-famous River Street celebration in Savannah when some inebriated sorority minion of superficiality flashed a crowd of 500 drunks for a fistful of tacky beads. I'm not sure if that even counts. Moving right along, I have officially finished my first year as an educator. It's been real and it's been fun but I'm glad that my two month break is here. Aside from taking a bullshit education class (I apologize...I'm sure it will be an enriching experience that will help me become a better educator) and another test I must take for certification, I'm just playing music and traveling. Good times indeed. In exactly a weeks time I will be in the studio with the band laying down tracks for our demo/EP that will make us millions. I'm super excited about the material that we've been writing and I think you, my loyal reader(s), will be as well. I leave you with some of the strange situations/occurences that I have witnessed and or been privy to in the last few weeks:
1. Apparently one can die from expired pancake mix (if you don't believe me, google that shit). So it's settled. I'm gonna move to Sweden and start a grindcore band called "The Butterworth Destroyers." First album title "Death by Pancake Mix," featuring the hit singles "Log Cabin Nightmare" and "Covered in Batter."
2. Two female students nearly got into a fistfight over which one of them would have my hand in marriage during the last week of school. So apparently my charm and dashing good looks works on the 15-18 year old and the 65 and up demographics. Still no luck on anything in between. But such is life and she's a hormoaning old bitch with noticeable facial hair.
3. A few weeks ago, two Czech politicians got into a fistfight at a press conference (Once again, if you don't believe me, go to the BBC website. I'm not smart enough to make this shit up).
4. Fate and copious amounts of alcohol brought my buddy Brad and I to the Crowne Plaza hotel bar where we witnessed a completely FUBAR-ed wedding party attempting to dance to Tone Loc. We did what any God fearing citizen placed in our position would have done, we ate their food and grabbed a sign marked "Speedy Concrete Cutters." Still trying to figure out what the hell the aforementioned sign means.
5. Had a nearly toothless woman aged 60 years young tell me that I had sexy legs as I gave her some spare change, insisting that she was not trying to "get fresh w/ me," but that it was a well intentioned compliment.
6. Had band practice, got smashed and went ghost hunting in the graveyard armed with Miller High life, a digital camera, and an impressive posse of Griffin's finest ghost hunters (No garlic or holy water b/c those are for pansies).
1. Apparently one can die from expired pancake mix (if you don't believe me, google that shit). So it's settled. I'm gonna move to Sweden and start a grindcore band called "The Butterworth Destroyers." First album title "Death by Pancake Mix," featuring the hit singles "Log Cabin Nightmare" and "Covered in Batter."
2. Two female students nearly got into a fistfight over which one of them would have my hand in marriage during the last week of school. So apparently my charm and dashing good looks works on the 15-18 year old and the 65 and up demographics. Still no luck on anything in between. But such is life and she's a hormoaning old bitch with noticeable facial hair.
3. A few weeks ago, two Czech politicians got into a fistfight at a press conference (Once again, if you don't believe me, go to the BBC website. I'm not smart enough to make this shit up).
4. Fate and copious amounts of alcohol brought my buddy Brad and I to the Crowne Plaza hotel bar where we witnessed a completely FUBAR-ed wedding party attempting to dance to Tone Loc. We did what any God fearing citizen placed in our position would have done, we ate their food and grabbed a sign marked "Speedy Concrete Cutters." Still trying to figure out what the hell the aforementioned sign means.
5. Had a nearly toothless woman aged 60 years young tell me that I had sexy legs as I gave her some spare change, insisting that she was not trying to "get fresh w/ me," but that it was a well intentioned compliment.
6. Had band practice, got smashed and went ghost hunting in the graveyard armed with Miller High life, a digital camera, and an impressive posse of Griffin's finest ghost hunters (No garlic or holy water b/c those are for pansies).
posted by Cecil at 1:20 PM
2 Comments:
HA! and Hola, sir.
At least you know you still got the charm turned on (re toothless woman).
Correction.
I recall you seeing some tiddly-winks at the RRD cd release party at Breakers. Or maybe you are just trying to block it out like I am.
Remember "and then she spoke".
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