My new favorite animal

I can't believe I haven't talked about this yet. So, I was watching the Discovery Channel(go ahead...point and laugh). In any event, my lameness paid off. There was a special on Hippos. I've always had a special place in my heart for Hippos ever since the gloriously entertaining Hungry Hungry Hippos came out. I can identify with that. I'm hungry. So yeah...back to your regularly scheduled program. Apparently, the Head Hippo is called the Beachmaster. The Beachmaster has his pick of the ladies and is responsible for keeping order among the rest of the gang. In one nail-biting segment, a young Hippo dared to challenge the Beachmaster. They tussled in the water, but it looked more like two fat kids sloshing around in a kiddie pool than two fierce animals beefing for sweet poon. The skirmish then moved to the beach, where the Beachmaster showed the television audience how he gained his nickname. The Beachmaster won (big surprise) but that's not the point. When Hippos get ready to fight, they wander around looking tough and do two things before the fight begins. Those two things are as follows, in no particular order: they drool all over the fucking place and they shit...all over themselves...as they swat fesces with their little bitty nubbin of a tail. I was thoroughly impressed. I think I'll incorporate it into my super badass kung fu fighting routine. Nobody wants to get anywhere near a man that's just shit himself, let alone get close enough to beat his ass. In conclusion, Hippos are super badass fighting machines and shittin on yourself is cool.